LGBTQ Parenting: Tips From a Therapist About Coming Out and Redefining Family as an Adult
When you have grown up with one expectation of who you are and then realize or finally validate your own experience as an LGBTQ adult, your whole world can change fast. It's not easy coming out. It's a process that takes time, and often there are many steps involved. For LGBTQ adults, the process of coming out can be even more complicated, as they may have to redefine their entire concept of family. This is where therapy can be incredibly helpful. In this blog post, we will explore some tips from LGBTQ-friendly therapists on how to come out and redefine family.
One thing I have learned as a therapist in California is helping individuals feel connected and live in their own truth is that, while we hope for the ideal, we need to be prepared for rejection. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to be accepting of your new identity. You may face rejection from friends, family members, or even strangers. It's important to be prepared for this and have a safety plan and people you can fall back on. Recognize that your entire family may be impacted, including your kids.
Find Specialized Therapy for LGBT Parenting in California
If you have kids, it's especially important to find a therapist who specializes in LGBTQIA parenting. They will be able to help you navigate the challenges that come with coming out and redefining family. They can also provide support for your kids as they process their own feelings about your new identity. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed of who you are, but recognize that people will need to process. Some will be immediately accepted, others will not. A word of advice is that you are allowed to set boundaries as to how long you choose to be patient with others. It's not your job or responsibility to console people who reject you or try to change their minds. That will take a lot of mental and emotional energy from you, that you do not need to expend.
Be open and honest with your children about your relationship status
If this is the first time you are pursuing a relationship, make sure to communicate! Telling your children that you are dating or in a relationship with someone of the same gender can help normalize the experience for them. It's okay to be open and honest about your feelings, wants, and needs. This will help build trust and communication within your family. If you are unsure how to have this conversation, worry about rejection, or feel you won't handle it well, get some support in LGBTQ therapy for parents, romantic relationships, or individual therapy.
Seek out resources that can help you navigate LGBT parenting
There are many organizations that can help you as an LGBTQIA parent. Here are a few:
-PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
-The Family Equality Council
-LGBTQ Parenting Network
-National Center for Lesbian Rights Family Law Project
-COL
Final Thoughts on Coming Out as an Adult and Redefining Family
Know this, there is no right way to come out, you don't have to do it all at once, and you don't have to experience this alone. Take time and pace yourself. This is a huge transition for you and your family. You don't have to put labels on how you identify. Remember, you deserve to be safe and make healthy decisions for yourself and your family.
If you are trying to find support or need help coming out, LGBTQ therapy for couples, families, and individuals can help!
You don't have to do this alone. Seek out an LGBTQIA+-friendly therapist that you feel safe with and who can be your ally in this journey. To learn more about online therapy and whether it may be right for you, please visit our website or contact us. To get started,
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OTHER SERVICES WHOLE MOTHER THERAPY OFFERS:
We offer services that are tailored to fit the needs of each client. The lives of each person are unique and are shaped by a variety of experiences. As a result, our Pasadena office has therapists who offer a wide range of mental health services at our Pasadena office, we provide individual therapy for new parents, postpartum anxiety treatment, birth trauma, postpartum depression support, marriage counseling, and couples therapy for new parents, and virtual therapy.
We also offer an eight-week in-person Sacred Motherhood Circle to honor the transitions and transformations of motherhood. And we hold several support groups, including an online pregnancy support group and an online postpartum support group. Finally, you can read more about our services, values, and resources on our therapy blog.